A train journey
The next day they drove back to return the car in Reims and board the fast train to Strasburg. From there they would continue their journey to Berlin via Frankfurt. Solange would join them a month later. They had plenty to talk about but at first they were silent, both of them deep in thought. Paul got them some coffee, and Sarah said: “I am now wondering if my and Jane’s memories were tempered with after Julian left us.” Paul marked a pause and replied a little later.
“Then you must think of how this could have happened and who initiated this.” Their thoughts circled around the answer to that question, if there was one answer. Communication with Gabrielle and Helga, allegedly Julian’s doctor and therapist, continued for a brief period of time and then stopped altogether, until Sarah attempted to contact Gabrielle on Paul’s behalf, much later.
Evidence
Paul’s thought led to him saying a while later as they were approaching Strasburg: “we cannot exclude them two as deciding to erase the evidence. If Julian’s death was not from natural causes, his supposed mental illness, then they must be prime suspects.” Their train was continuing shortly to Frankfurt, Sarah said she was peckish. They went to the restaurant car and had a bite.
Julian’s journal
For the rest of their journey they continued their conversation. Sarah thought their hypothesis was probably right: it explained Gabrielle’s disappearance, her cutting off contact. They, whatever their role had been in Julian’s disappearance, had decided there was no longer any value in staying in touch. But who were they? Paul said he could give her several reasons and possibilities as to who they really were. Julian had written several notes about their visit to the churchyard in Chalons, and the existence of a portal.
“This is what Julian wrote in February 2012, when he first mentions “Mel” (Melissa?) and you too:
“At home a medical check determined he had to undertake surgery. He felt ill. A long wait was starting. Yet he had plenty to do, a business to run, projects to oversee, the occasional technical challenge, papers, spreadsheets… What he wanted was to be back in the valley, feeling the rocks under his boots, breathing the clear and cold air. He wanted to see the pine trees, look at the white clouds disappearing behind the summits. He longs for solitude, and closer intimacy, a contradiction he chose to cherish.
He soon made up his mind to stand his ground: he would follow the advice of his surgeon, bite the bullet, train regularly, cut down on drinking and all those things that were now bad for him, and probably always were. He also decided to view her page.
Every month he took tests and followed the usual routine for cancer patients. He ate raw vegetables, got his will in order, transfer those assets that were still in his name to Sarah. She was positive and was no less tender or tough with her partner – as he deserved – than she’d always been. She was supportive in the only way she knew to be: by acting and living as normal. She was genuinely confident he would recover, defying statistics. She changed nothing to her normal work week.
Neither did he unless it was to see his oncologist.
And, finally, one evening, after a successful workday, he logged on to Mel’s page.
Mel’s page
At first he was a bit lost. His own page was minimalist. Her wall appeared to be densely packed, with an impressive list of “friends” and pictures. He looked at her profile. The red hair, the young face, the green eyes, the full lips, a simple flowered blouse… a beautiful young woman, a little old-fashion. Something stirred at the deep end of his memories… That picture looked strangely familiar, but still he could not recall who she was. He decided to read her profile. Mel had listed as much as she could, her schools, where she’d lived, where she’d worked.
She was born two years before him, and in the town where he’d spent most of his childhood. She’d also attended the same high school. He paused. Something was wrong with Mel’s page. One of her pictures was that of an adolescent, fresh-faced, athletic, standing in what looked like a school yard in a group of other youngsters. Julian looked at the picture, heart beating, suddenly transported in time.
It was his school, and that young man was him, probably a year or two before he left for the army – all those years back. He realised at last that Sarah was standing behind him: “An old flame has caught up with you?” she asked tenderly, with a touch of concern in her voice.”
Much later he writes about the churchyard. And in-between he speaks of Gabrielle. Incidentally this is the only place in Julian’s journal where he talks of “Mel”, as opposed to Melissa”
They were entering Berlin. From the Hauptbahnhof they would take the S-Bahn to Schöneberg and Paul’s pad.
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