Bail-out

Since the bail-out of 2032 the city is wearing Chinese colours. As she drives her Chinese-made SUV to the airport near the Docklands, now renamed Chairman Shi International Airport, Sarah thinks back to her last visit to Berlin, in the Spring of this year. There she noticed Eurasian Federation flags interspersed with Eastern German flags on all monuments. The world has changed dramatically since the end of the war in 2028. And soon she will meet Paul. She feels again the same flutter in her belly thinking of her son, her beloved Paul. Paul is a little taller than Julian at the same age, the same square shoulders, muscular arms and strong hands. Like Julian did, he wears his hair cropped.

Tegel

She parks the SUV carefully, surveying the cars already parked there. As she walks to the terminal Sarah reminisces about the many times she flew to Berlin with Julian from here, in the days when the Tegel airport was still open, before the Plague. Advertising panels in Chinese are everywhere, and half the people in the terminal are Asian. Paul’s flight is due in ten minutes. Sarah wears jeans and one of Julian’s old shirts, some black low heel sport shoes, her blond hair in a bun, no make up. She looks up at the clock. The Berlin flight is on time.

The first passengers are coming out through the customs doors. Then she sees him, at the same time as he sees her: they run to each other and embrace, in a way that would look to an observer not knowing them as two young lovers. Paul, who carries only a light shoulder bag, has lifted Sarah against him, they are kissing full lips, Sarah’s legs clasped around his waist. They stand like this, oblivious of the crowd around them, for long seconds, then, they embrace and walk out of the terminal. When they reach her car Sarah hands over the keys, and they kiss again. Sarah now feels how enchanted she is in Paul’s presence. For her, at this moment she finds Julian again, young, powerful, her mate, her husband, the father of their son. Paul opens the door for her, makes sure she’s in, safe and strapped, then sits down behind the wheel. Sarah leans towards him, seizes his hand and kisses it.

Changes

I will drive us home… he says, in a voice so identical to his father’s that for Sarah, now, she wants to immerse herself in the dream: Julian will drive them safely to their home, he will carry her inside, all the way upstairs and he will undress her in their room… Paul eases the car out onto the highway, surveying the mirrors, and quickly joining the traffic. He knows the way, down to the tunnel, then back around Woolwich, and on to their place, while thinking of making Sarah relaxed and calm. There have been many changes to the industrial landscape, with Chinese and Indian firms‘ warehouses and workshops all along the way. The road is broader. The town is also easier to reach, and soon he is parking the SUV on Sarah’s drive.

Sarah’s house is surrounded by flowers and mature shrubs. Paul walks to the door and unlocks it, then comes back to the car and helps Sarah who’s in tears: he takes her in his arms and takes her inside, making her comfortable on the living room sofa. Once he’s locked the car he comes back and kisses Sarah. He has brought a small present for her, she opens it with nervous fingers: it’s an old German necklace made of small stones and silver. Now Sarah stands up and kisses Paul, her lips firmly locked to his, her hands around his neck. Paul keeps his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

Decision

There is always, in their encounters, this moment of decision, either to go back to being mother and son, or to make a clean break. Paul knows it is his responsibility to stop this pretence: he’s not his dad reincarnated, and by participating in this delusion he will stop Sarah from ever contemplating a new, normal relationship with anyone. He knows she has many admirers: for good reasons, she’s a young 52, looking ten years younger, fit, and rich. He has to exercise his will power and somehow convince her to detach a little from him. Paul tells Sarah he’s going to mix drinks, and then make dinner for them.

Sarah seems to wake up, where does he want to sleep tonight? She wants to take him to Greenwich the following day, to the observatory. They start chatting. He will sleep in the little room upstairs, where he used to work as a student. Sarah explains to him what shopping she did earlier. She wants some cold French white wine. Paul gets busy in the kitchen. He too is enchanted in his mother’s presence. His love for Sarah is extreme filial love, it is love for her person, her loveliness, her sensuality she opens to him without fear.

Opportunities

He has to be strong, he is Julian’s and Sarah’s son. He comes back to the living room, open to the garden, with their drinks. They toast. Sarah asks him about the thesis, he tells her about his meeting with Magda, she wants the details, how far he is from the review, what his plan is for what follows. He tells her about the project file he left with Magda, about Lise’s research. Over the garden the September sky is clear. Sarah tells him he should not worry about the money, she can easily fund the second thesis, and in fact she wants to. Sarah’s own business has grown since Julian left them. She has concentrated on it, with deliberate intensity. The planning for the bailout was full of opportunities, she’s learned Chinese with Jane’s help. They talk about Jane, now the owner of a thriving fashion house. Jane will pop in before his departure for France.Paul refills Sarah’s glass.

Enchantment

He then gets busy in the kitchen. He goes to the garden to pick up some vegetables, comes back to find Sarah busy setting the table in front of the open double door. She says she will dress for him for dinner. He smiles. Some of his clothes upstairs in the little wardrobe, are now too tight for him, as boxing and the gym have developed his muscles. Nonetheless he wants to look good for her. He finds it difficult to stop himself from trying to please and enchant Sarah.

He gets busy in the kitchen, prepares an Italian dish he knows she loves. Cooking reminds him of their holiday in Italy, when he was sixteen. Sarah had planned this holiday, just the two of them, to a place in South Tyrol she and Julian loved to go to. She’d booked a large room with a balcony in the little Albergo, close to a path they would take to get to the nearby summit. Paul loves the place. They went for long walks, and some climbing, which showed him what an accomplished athlete Sarah was.

No secrets

Now, five years later, he remembers their first night. In the room there was a large double bed. On their first evening he offered to sleep on blankets on the floor, which made Sarah laugh. No they would share the double bed. Paul was familiar with Sarah’s body: she taught him everything she knew about women and their secrets since he had been a little boy, she’d shown herself to him, always, he had no secrets for her, and she had none for him. Now it was different, he had to keep some distance, without hurting her. When they woke up in the morning, their window wide open to the clear sky and birds’ songs, he knew his love for Sarah had to be kept as a son’s love for his mother.

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