Who manipulates?
I discovered manipulation early, as I was observing the other youngsters, their games, listening to the voices, trying to understand why and how. It happened one day, in the noisy and agitated court yard: many of my ‘friends” did not act on their own free will, even if they would have rejected the idea that they were acting because others had suggested it. Yet it was the truth.
It was happening in different ways: because they wanted to impress, convince, seduce the puppeteer, or because they were pushed, perhaps blackmailed. The latter I found was often the case: “I know you did this, and unless you do that I will tell…” Tell who and how was rarely made explicit, but someone else would be told, parents, teachers, or the girl who so so?
Manipulation and appearance
The possibilities were limitless. Some of the boys wanted to appear what they were not, kind of heroes, played at being bullies, or bullied. The girls pretended not to care, but of course cared a great deal. Pretences and manipulation go hand in hand. I pretend to have this power, and then, well show us! For manipulation may be invited, by attempting to create a reality that isn’t. Early in life, an intense period of learning, one is tempted to pretend one knows when one does not. This is the open door to becoming a puppet, someone being played on, in the worst case, confused and potential victim.
The rallying cry of the bullies is always: “Show us then!” Show us what you claim is true, although we know for sure it is not. Very occasionally it is, which is bad news for the would-be manipulator. Declining to want to appear is of course the best antidote: accepting one’s relative ignorance, choosing role models carefully, away from the obvious.
Becoming wiser
This is the beginning of wisdom. For many of us it comes late, sometime even never, or at least early enough to make a difference. For later, as young adults, we are subject to far worse, because organised, manipulation. This is advertising, propaganda, brain washing, all sugared to mask their real purpose. Getting this rare prize of a sound judgement is to overcome many obstacles, including our early training, in high school, at being manipulated by others, or ideas.
Are some of us exempt? I now doubt it. I was convinced of being one of them, one of the lucky few who act solely on their own volition, and discovered late that I was deluded. Some of our reactions, to external events, to loss, failure, adversity, were born during those young years, when we pretended, or pretended not to pretend. For this is always observed by those who early make a profession of influencing, even directing, our actions. We are first of all victims of ourselves, our wish to be someone else, better, stronger, more informed, more experienced, that we really are.
Experience is acquired at a cost, the cost of real life. As emerging from childhood, we try to get it cheaper: it never works. This is the fertile ground for being influenced, for being convinced to do things we later bitterly regret.
Manipulation is the negation of will. It leads to believing things that are not only untrue but potentially destructive, to acting as if we were someone else, in someone else’s interest. This is the crunch. Finally some further thought for readers’ comments: is manipulation merely malefic, or is it inspired by the Devil?
Picture: image of a hand, that manipulates the mind of another person, isolated and toned
Manipulation is the negation of will. It leads to believing things that are not only untrue but potentially destructive, to acting as if we were someone else, in someone else’s interest. Is manipulation merely malefic, or is it inspired by the Devil? That’s a question worth pondering. As we navigate through life, it’s important to be aware of the power of manipulation and how it can affect us. By understanding its tactics and being proactive in guarding our own thoughts and beliefs, we can strive to maintain our autonomy and make choices that truly align with our own values. Let’s be vigilant and strive for authenticity in a world that often seeks to manipulate us.
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