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Creature

Our relationship had now changed. I had been the starry-eyed lover, overwhelmed by the beauty, the skills, the wild charm of the lady of the forest, refusing, or unable, to see her for the creature she really was. And now, I knew, and I knew I was identical, if still without her experience. Inga, in turn, had realised how naive I had been. Perhaps she too had been pretending, that our love was normal, our innocent feeding on each other was part of it. I still knew so little, about her past, where she really came from, whether she’d been born with the bloodlust in her soul.

Too late

Now it was far too late to backtrack. There, in the park, with her victim slumped on that bench, we had told each other the truth: we could not survive without one another. Perhaps I knew then that this was not the end of it, that I myself would change into another me. It was only a matter of time. That night we went to bed, fell asleep in each other arms. In the night I got up to drink some water, I was terribly thirsty. When I came back to bed, Inga, fast asleep, grabbed me with all her strength. I pulled her over me, made sure she was well covered by the blanket, kissed her lips. In her sleep she said words of love and surrender. I was awake for some time, then slept without dream.

Weißensee

We slept late till midday. Inga was up first, and was in the kitchen doing breakfast, our usual mix of fruit and milk, when I emerged, seized her, lifted her up and kissed her, seeking her tongue, risking the sharp teeth. She laughed, her eyes full of tears. We made plans for the day, going through more papers, then going before dusk to the old cemetery in Weißensee. We ate, and then showered together, her eyes never leaving mine. Wordlessly we told each other the crisis was over: we had both accepted who we were.

Wide hats

I later told Inga I wanted to know about her great-grand father. She appeared a little surprised I knew anything about him. I said that there was time. Indeed I was beginning to wonder whether we had anything, other than eternity. We worked, Inga and me, sitting in front of each other at the long desk, lit by the early winter sunlight coming through the bay window. She made tea, I thought the plan for my thesis was now coming on very well, thanks to her. I said so, stood up and kissed her on the lips, on her hair, on her breasts. Later we dressed in dark clothes, put on wide hats that masked our faces, and went out.

Caucasus

Unusually we took the tram, that would take us to Weißensee, one hour before closure. We walked the long tree-lined alleys, listened to the birds, singing the evening away. We sat on an old bench, between century-old graves. We talked about the wolves, the parents, the pair Inga and I had met, and the young ones Marco and I had observed near the farm. She had known the wolves since a little child. She understood them, and them her. She had converted her cousin, Marco, to their conservation. Then she told me about Hans, her great-grand father, who had been to the Caucasus, and to save his life, had done a deal with the wolves. We would have been locked in, as the cemetery was closing for the night, without an old rabbi, who walked past us and told us, children, to go home. We thanked him politely.

1943

The moon appeared through the clouds, we walked to the tram station, and went home. I saw Inga was hesitating. I took her in my arms and to our room, undressed her and undressed myself. In bed I said: “Drink me, I’m yours, then send me to sleep….” She did. I dreamed of the soldier who had escalated the Elbrus, planted his flag on the summit, then listened to the wolves, just below, in the snow. Then, in the dream, Inga was cutting my throat open with her small knife, telling me it would be so much easier then, to drink from me. I woke briefly to see her, asleep, her beloved face close to mine, her green eyes open, her mouth open around my cheek. Her thighs were wide apart around my waist, and my penis was deep in her. We slept late, had a lengthy breakfast, made love, then Inga continued her story. The year was 1943…

Hubris & Arrogance

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