Days

He remembers the days when the same train would crawl its way through the Kent countryside at a quarter of the speed it now achieves. But he cannot concentrate on his book, his mind constantly going back to this simple fact: he is about to meet her. She, who was the love of his life, before the fall. 

“Before the fall”. The expression comes all made up, as if imposed by a stronger spirit. He’s seen her several times now, but today, today and the following day, are special. It is just the two of them, not on a mission, not requested, but just having time for each other. The last time that happened was when? He cannot remember, but it was also “before the fall”. Before he lost his way in the sand, in the violence of war, in the making of what he has now become.

City

Soon he realises that they are approaching the city. The three hours just sailed past him, lost in his dream. But this is no dream, he’s going to see Melissa, and for the first time he thinks that her humanity is beyond doubt, as much as his, or Sarah’s. 

Sarah… His wife has been so generous, recognising his need to be with his friend, alone, for more than just a few hours… Images flash back to his feverish imagination: Sarah, Jane, and Melissa at their house, him working upstairs, listening to the laughter, the low voices, the sudden silences… 

He smiles as the fast train enters the station, a slow grey worm now, in a thunder of turbines.

Station

The station is swarming with summer travellers, tourists, and commuters, and he is immersed in the noise and garish displays of merchandising. Ignoring the crowds, he walks slowly toward the end of the platform, his canvass camera bag resting on his shoulders. She sees him before he does her, her eyes taking possession of him, irresistible. In one fluid movement, she’s in front of him, holding him tight and kissing him full mouth, a tall young woman, red-haired, her sensuality flooding him with memories and unstoppable emotions. 

Imagine

“We have two days to ourselves,” she says without leaving his lips, “can you imagine!”

Overwhelmed he lets her take him by the hand out of the station. They cross the boulevard and, soon, they are walking in the direction of the river, hands enlaced. She is as she was, and a little terror haunts his heart. How can this be? It’s a question he’s asked himself a thousand times. She turns towards him, holding his face in her strong hands. 

“Don’t think. I am here, only for you. My life is yours for these two days…” 

Marais

He realises, as he yields to her will, that she’s guiding them expertly though the small streets, aiming for the Marais. When did she learn to navigate this city so well? Reading his thoughts, she says: “After you, I mean, after Gabrielle, I came to live here for a few years…” 

This time it is him who takes the initiative, feeling a new vigour in his body. He takes her in his arms and kisses her, the passion flowing freely, and she responds as she used to, inviting him with the whole of herself. She decides for him. 

“I want to walk with you, perhaps across to the other side, the Rive Gauche, but first, we stop at your hotel.”

Quiet Street

His hotel is on their way, in a small and quiet street a few steps from the Place des Vosges. He checks in, and the young Portuguese woman at the desk smiles at Melissa, knowingly. The two of them and the camera fill the narrow lift to the fourth floor. The room is quiet, in the shade from the street, the bed wide and the white sheets crisp. The tall wall mirror reflects the monochrome image of two youngsters.

Julian surrenders to the dream. Melissa undresses him, as he stands, stunned, in front of her, and then she strips in a few casual gestures. For a few minutes she stands by the window, against the sunlight filtering through the thin curtain. At that instant, he would choose to die rather than give her up. If paradise exists, it must here, now. Triumphant, she turns toward him, and they lock lips. Time regresses to the little town of their childhood; what they failed to do then is now theirs. She never had him then, but now she will.

Melissa

Teacher, I do not know how to express the joy and happiness I feel in myself, for Julian has come back to me. He loves me: he is mine. I know how important this man is to you and your cause, Teacher, but at this instant, he is mine, my lover, the one I sought for all these years, the one I was desperate to find again.

He is as he always was: a young knight, with now the experience and strength of a grown man. He gave me everything I always wanted from him, and I have already forgotten the bad dreams, the pain, the torture of not reaching him, the solitude I had to endure in life and death, until you saved me. 

Sun light

In that quiet street, in the little room with sunlight filtering through the thin white lace curtain he took what has been his all that time: the woman in me, my heart, my mind, my soul, for I belong to him in ways that I cannot explain. All I can say is that he loved what he found, and he knows how to please this woman, to the depth of me.

Later, we walked the streets ‘til early morning. Every ten steps, I had to kiss him. Did I tell you how much I want his mouth, his lips, his tongue? My body, my arms, my hands did not leave him for a second. We walked along the river, across the bridges full of light and history. Other couples smiled at us… 

In Saint-Germain we went to Café de Flore – you remember how keen on literature he’s always been… I, who never drinks, shared a bottle of cool Loire wine with him. We walked back through the Arènes, but the little park was closed when we got there, it was already morning… 

Back to our room we made love till sleep overwhelmed us, enlaced, exhausted, belonging. 

He is the Path

I want to say, Teacher, I know he is the Path, the human being you need. And I have promised to help you. I will be loyal to my promise, but I want to say this: I will die defending him if he is in danger. Whoever wants his death will have to kill this woman first. 

One last thing, for I want nothing to be hidden from you, Teacher. I told Sarah everything, and she said she was more than happy that Julian had at long last found me. She also said she was prepared for me to go and live with them two. As you know, she and I are already very close. As I write, he is asleep next to me; it will be soon the end of our second day. Then he will go back to London, and when we meet again, we will be on our way to you, and to Berlin…

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