The first 38 words of this post are in response to Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt #351
This encounter was unexpected. I am not gregarious, and then, following several disappointments, and a near fatal accident, I was reluctant to be with many other human beings. Yet I did not want to fall into reclusion either.
Prelude to the encounter
For some time I had planned to start a course in mathematics, a discipline I had been in love with since school, and had to shelf when I joined the military in my late teens. Now I had done some research for a possible way, since I was working full time, in a demanding and time consuming job. Yet I found that studying by correspondence was likely to suit my requirements.
After some more research, and taking a preparatory course I contacted the organisation, received a stack of documents, and finally committed to start the following Spring. The prospect was like a ray of light through what was then a difficult stage in my life.
I was about to meet with other other applicants as an introduction. And so I went to an anonymous class room, in a then deserted building. There were about half a dozen people there, for me, a small crowd. I was mostly silent, and so you were. But somehow you attracted my attention, and apparently, this was reciprocal.
From encounter to wanting more
All those present had some background in mathematics, and diverse reasons to continue, or resume their studies. The material we had seen so far was challenging. You were quiet, but when you spoke people listened, as you had experience, also in physics, a neighbour discipline which was also of interest for me. We exchanged a few words. We would not start the course for a few weeks yet.
There were still many dark clouds above my head. I was recovering from that accident, was very uncertain of my future. When the course started I was eager to immerse myself in the material. You seemed to be too. We were both happy to continue where we had left earlier. We talked mainly about maths, our past experience, what we hoped to find in the new material. We were quickly enthusiastic about what we found. We did not see much of each other between the classes, although we talked about the assignments, and what we would do next after this first step. It was all about these studies.
The academic year went quickly, the course got more and more interesting, our first results were encouraging. You were scoring well in analysis, I perhaps more so in algebra. We talked about more exotic topics, statistics, where you had a special interest, topology which I found attractive but frightening. We found our own language. Life went on, work, spouses, children, we kept a small island, preserved from intrusions.
The encounter is a gift
At that time we were never over familiar with each other. A friendship was developing, nothing more. We worked hard, got better results. We could see we would continue if we were successful at the end of year exams. Indeed we were. I had some hesitations as to what would happen during the summer holiday, the inevitable split, what would happen next.
Our results were excellent, I remember we had a celebratory coffee. A large gap of several months were the prospect. But something else happened. We knew we needed the companionship, the antidote to all the other things in our lives that did not go so well. We prayed a lot, separately.
Slowly certainty grew, we were unwilling to let go. The encounter was only a prelude. We had to make sure. But nothing much happened for a long time. We were busy with our existing commitments, work, thinking of the next course, already seeking confirmation of something. Professionally this was a hard time for me, as I had to adapt, the circumstances were not favourable, everything appeared to be an obstacle.
I guessed you were also struggling although I knew very little of your life, outside maths. Then it became clear to us, we would have to find space, opportunities to talk, carry on with the course, change what could be changed, endure what we could not. We were looking in the same direction.
Becoming one
The encounter proved to be durable, despite the obstacles we met, talked at length or our own histories, whence we came from, our hopes, our loves. We were both christian, knowledgeable in the history of our faith. We did not rush into anything, we waited. We went for long walks. Then I had to make a job move, separation loomed again.
But one morning you said you did not accept not being one. Our fate was sealed. It wasn’t an easy road. For neither of us was perfect. We still argue. Our son was born, thirty three years ago this month. A perfect gift.
Picture: ©2014 Honoré Dupuis, Arizona State Museum, Tucson, Arizona
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