Life events

The forbidden fruits of life’s events grow from our experience, they become, over time, our perspective on life, and this is unique. Forbidden, because inedible, for us, for a very long time, beyond youth and maturity. The taste of honey, sweeter still, only comes late, as we approach old age. By then, we have learnt, about people, love, hate, and, if we are lucky, death. This strange person, ourself, at the start inchoate, bumbling in ignorance, and, already prejudices, slowly acquires a thin layer of understanding: how human communicate, how important animals are, the beauty of dawns and sunsets.

Forbidden fruits

For this we have to fail, and fall, time and again. We have to know the pain of unreturned love, the death of a parent, the unavoidable personal disappointment in all things, work, ambitions, appetites. We have to accept the random encounters, the fragility of friendship, the inaccuracy of our own judgments. We have to grow. André Malraux wrote that this takes fifty years, and then we are only good to die.

The great literature, in all languages, tells us about forbidden fruits: War and Peace, the Odyssey, Le Grand Meaulnes, Yukio Mishima’s Sea of Fertility… and so do the great composers, Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Puccini… Can we learn from novels and symphonies how to grow, and age gracefully? Is life experience sharable? Is writing the best way, for common mortals, to attempt leaving some honest legacy?

Unique experience

Perhaps, but so is music, composing or enjoying a concert, playing with small children, walking and taking pictures. There is a high ground for sharing, but also the quiet every day, down to earth, congeniality, with neighbours, the remote family, despite the differences, and the growing pain of old age. No-one said this passage of time would be easy, and, for each of us, it is a unique experience.

If we are lucky we can share our experience with a loved partner, something few people are gifted with: our Creator decides, who, and when. On that lonely shore, I am thinking of the Isle of the Dead, the ultimate farewell. Being reconciled with the world, the sky, the moon, nature, the beauty of trees, the whole creation, if that is our perspective on life, it is a peaceful victory. If not, we have probably failed, but then many do.

Reality

We may access the fruits, and hopefully, enjoy them thereafter, forever, only if we have worked against our demons, if we have controlled them, overcome the appeal of nothingness, not just once, but all the time, every day and night, in our deepest being. Such is the lesson, for all of us, if we accept the reality of the Creation, and ourselves, as accountable to only one King, Jesus Christ, our Saviour.

So we learn from life events, and if we are reflective enough, we use this experience to prepare. Our perspective guides this preparation, it is thus precious, and should not be ignored. Is this the only criteria for wisdom? No, but it is an essential one, as otherwise, one is bumbling along, balloted by these events, and more alone than ever.

Many parables of the scriptures are about this experience, and so much of the great literature of the world. Dostoyevsky wrote:

“If you were to destroy the belief in immortality in mankind, not only love but every living force on which the continuation of all life in the world depended, would dry up at once.”

Inspired by Three Things Challenge #M594 of February 4

Conclusion

In conclusion, our perspective on life is not a static entity but a dynamic process that transforms as we navigate through various life stages. From the innocence of childhood to the complexities of old age, our experiences shape our understanding and influence how we interpret the world around us. Significant life events—such as the loss of a cherished parent or partner, the impact of war, or the challenges posed by serious illness—can catalyse profound shifts in our worldview, often prompting us to reassess our values, priorities, and beliefs.

For parents, recognising the power of these experiences can foster resilience and empathy in children, equipping them to face life’s inevitable challenges with a broader and more nuanced perspective. As we embrace the ebb and flow of life’s events, we can appreciate the richness that comes from an evolving understanding of what it means to live fully.